21 Comments
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Laura McKay's avatar

The problem (I think) is that some people can’t recognize mindless fear when it comes to them. We have to name our fear and then give it a job to do. I feel as if a lot of fear is rooted in our feeling that we are powerless and responsible at the same time. Representative Pat Schroeder of Colorado once said, “You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. Pick one.”

Russell Rowland's avatar

Nice. I like that

J Diane Tyler's avatar

Hey Russ. I lost my mom 2 years ago at the age of 96. I wish every time I thought something wonderful about her I had written it down and the context that brought it to mind. Now that she is gone there are many things I wish I had told her and many things I had asked. Treasure every moment you have with your beautiful mother.

Lorene Rowland's avatar

Thank you son for the touching words/moments that we share. You are a dear. Thank you Bertha for chiming in. Though I was a bit older than you (still am) I always admired you and your sax playing! ❤️

Bertha Lavell Kramlich's avatar

Your mother is a very intelligent woman. No wonder, since she was valedictorian of her 1953 CCHS class and played a mean saxophone in the band! :)

MerMer's avatar

Thank you Russell. I so enjoyed reading about the conversation you had with your Mother 🩷 I was able to have similar conversations with my Mother and I cherish the memories. I didn't have the same opportunity with my Father, but with an exceptional therapist and learning about some events in his life that led to PTSD, I came to understand him years after his passing.

PennyJo Bateman's avatar

Fear can be a motivator or a paralyzer. I'd like to be fearful in a motivated way concerning the present state of our country. I'm glad you found someone to talk you through your panic attacks. I fervently hope medical professionals do a better job these days.

Blanche Boyd's avatar

Thank you for this one, Russell. Really moving and runs deep.

Russell Rowland's avatar

Thank you so much, Blanche

Steve Gillis's avatar

Excellent! That’s what I’m takin ‘bout!

Russell Rowland's avatar

Thank you, my friend

Rod Foster's avatar

“we are always thinking. the problem is not in thinking, it’s in believing our thoughts” tenzin palmo

Gen5West's avatar

We’re all ‘running out of time’ so saying what we need to say should never be put off.

And, just for the record, I’m afraid, too.

Kat Wilder's avatar

This is so great. Those three questions will now become part of my existence and persistence as I live through these days. Thank you!

Russell Rowland's avatar

I'm honored :)

LuAnne Halligan's avatar

So wonderful that you still have your mom and she is so close to you. I’m from a cribbage family so I love that routine. Give her hugs from all of us who miss our moms 🥰 and keep on pegging!

Steve Warren's avatar

Wow. I think you've just given me the best advice ever. And it's so darn simple.

I am well into my drop-dead years. So, SO many times I've thought about my elders and think "Gosh. I wish I had asked them about..." Or "What I wouldn't give to spend a couple of hours talking about..." Consequently I try to share with my kids stories about myself hoping they don't have the same regret and can think of some tidbit of me that gives them comfort. But my fear of being a self-absorbed blowhard often prevents me.

I think I'm going to try mom's approach. "What do you want me to tell you?" Wish me luck!

(BTW. If it's not too personal - What did you ask, and how did she respond?)

Russell Rowland's avatar

We mostly talked about how the fact that we are so much alike has made our relationship both challenging and easy. We think alike, which can be both a blessing and a curse.

Melissa Smith's avatar

Better advice would have been - have courage. Take action in spite of fear.