Notes from the Front

Diary of an ICE agent

Letters from the Front

Diary of an ICE Agent

Friday, October 18, 2025

Our battalion hit the streets of Portland today, and as much as I’m excited to go after some of them bastard antifa terrorists, I am also aware of the fact that I may never see your loving faces again, and it chokes me up a little. Good thing I’m wearing a mask so the other guys can’t see me getting a little misty. I’m also feeling a bit lonesome being away from you guys for so long, but if everything goes good, and I survive this day, I’ll see you around suppertime. I hope you make that chicken fried steak that I love so much, Mom. If not, you know I would hate to make a phone call to my boss. Comprende? Just kidding. Or am I?

Saturday, October 19, 2025

Today was the Hate America March, and everyone in our battalion was psyched to go out and beat on some libtard motherfucking pinkos. Our lieutenant gave us the go-ahead to use deadly force, especially if one of them bastards had a weapon. We hit the streets and were loaded for bear, but I think they musta forgot to hire some instigators to get things goin’ cause we didn’t see a single fight today. I called some of them costume wearing motherfuckers some names, but they didn’t react enough for me to use that beautiful club you carved for me, Daddy. But I’m sure it will come in handy someday. We was all pretty sure some of our brothers would fall today, so we’re all a little disappointed that nobody died. But our captain bought us some Kentucky Fried Chicken, so we’re sort of mourning the lack of action together, one drumstick at a time. See around nine. Don’t wait up.

Tuesday, October 17^th

Was happy to get Monday off after we worked so hard on Saturday fighting off those commie bastard Hate America protestors. Most of my fellow warriors were emotionally exhausted from the constant attacks. So we were happy to get back to our normal duties today. We detained several Uber drivers, as well as a few janitors, and a whole crew of fruit pickers. I can’t tell you how good it feels to get these people who are sponging off the government put away. I already feel so much more free than I did last week. Also great to be in an environment where we don’t have to worry about what we say. The politically correct police aren’t going to stop us from freedom of speech, we showed that right from the get go. They will not replace us.

Wednesday, October 18^th

Today a group of antifa assholes blocked our way as we tried to enter a restaurant where they had several illegal aliens working. I don’t know who these people think they are, but I think it’s clear they don’t believe in America, and that they are going to find out just how wrong they are when they to go meet Satan on judgement day. We all know we’re on the right side of history, and these people are going to burn in hell for trying to protect people who don’t even speak the language. This country was built on the backs of Americans, not immigrants, goddamit. Peace out.